Happy New Year?
Doesn't it just suck when people blow it?
my life . my dreams . my family . my memories . my projects
The future just arrived. Today. Actually, last night. It started last night. M's father pulled me aside to tell me something in confidence. This has never happened before, so you can bet that - even with a few glasses of wine in me - I paid attention... John asked if I had any thoughts on having children. I said that, yes, M. and I have talked about it a lot. He then suggested that I go first, because of my age ("Your clock is ticking," he said), and suggested I do so with M's brother as the donor.
I dream of Mom all the time. Michael just told me that he had his first dream of her "in a while" 2 nights ago. At the moment my eyes had landed on a page of news I was reading online and caught the word "Obituary." I suddenly remembered doing a Google search on her a few weeks ago and finding a notice my Dad had put up about her death. I can't remember where he put it, but it was somewhere familiar. One of our schools, or something. "Beloved wife of..." It's still so dissociating. You can't imagine it unless it's happened to you.
My friend Katie wants to blog. She'll be AMAZING at it. I spoke to her for a long time on the phone today about what sites to check out, how to "do" it - blogging -, and then sent her a long email with some of my favorite links. It's exciting to think how long Katie and I have known each other, and to see us now adapting so well to the new world. Blogging. Holy shit. Vlogging. I had to tell her what that meant. I didn't even know what it meant until a year ago... It's exciting because blogging is the ultimate democracy. Choice On Wheels. You can create a blog or a vlog and put it up on the web for all to see. This is beautiful. It's like meeting new and interesting people while sipping coffee on a plaza in Rome. No shit. You're sitting at a cafe near the Spanish steps and all of a sudden some tall, blonde dude and his super-short-haired, blonde girlfriend will ask you for sugar. In perfect English-With-A-Dutch-Accent.
This morning I started thinking about packing. What will I bring to India? And what will I be able to fit in my suuitcase that will otherwise be filled with gifts? Juthica has told me that coffee table books of classicly American (Native American) images would be best for adults and any kind of electronic gadgets would be best for kids. There are three kids I'm bringing stuff for. They are the children of the 2 professors I am interviewing for a piece on Kolkata itself. The city has had an internationally bad rap for long enough and so, although I have to address the issue of poverty and squalor, I'm also going to have these guys talk about the wonders and beauty of the city. It was, after all, once the capitol of India...