"I'd Be Happier In A Bar"

I'm watching a Janis Joplin documentary. She's telling a reporter that she'd be happier doing this interview with him in a bar. I watch the film and wonder how much of the time she was flat drunk. Or frozen on heroin? How could she keep time with all those influences...??? People used to say she was ugly, but I think she has the cutest, All-American girl-type smile. The other ridiculous and disassociating thing were all the people standing on stage behind the band as they played. They stood back there with drinks in their hands, their suit jackets tailored tight against turtlenecks as they swayed in hip post-Beat fashion to the coolest music on earth at that time, sucking, as they did so, the very life out of her. "Take it. Take another little piece of my heart..."

I can't remember the meanest thing I ever did to my mother. Maybe leaving. I didn't leave in the spiritual sense - never that - but all those times I left to go back to school, when we held each other too long... so long that I almost missed my train, or too long because it didn't feel right at that moment to leave. Leaving mom is something I was never comfortable with or good at. "Had I known what it took to come this far... would I have...???"

Would you change the world to fit for me...? She did. In every way. And try as I might I am not winning the battle against missing her less.